The Healing of Godly Grief

Bob D (16 Jan 2009)
"The Healing of Godly Grief"


The Healing of Godly Grief

I really did not want to write an article about this subject but the Holy Spirit kept tugging inside of me explaining that there are many people needing to hear this message, including myself. In other words people are hurting on the inside and they do not really know what to do with their pain.

Did you ever just look at a relationship or the world and get so vexed in your heart at what you see? If it hits our sour spot we can really start to take it personal. Deep down it is just not in us to accept what we our looking at or experiencing because it goes against who we are (what we stand for).

Then comes the enduring process as we grieve,usually a loss of some kind. The development of grief does not have to be a death in the family. It could be looking at the world or maybe some kind of rejection or betrayal. We could be witnessing an injustice being done to someone else. Perhaps a sickness but people respond different based on their personalities. I would like to talk about the root, not the symptom.

There are different degrees of hurt but we can grieve in a Godly constructive way. This is a privilege that very few people ever have the luxury of going through. Worldly grief leads to misery. Godly grief leads to healing. Emotions such as fear,anxiety,preoccupation and stress most of the time are a cover up for where God wants to bring us in our hearts....a place of healing through His Son Jesus Christ.

I am going to convey some points to you and I am confident that God is going to touch your heart. I have to confess that as I was growing up I had nothing but misconceptions about grief. Not all of this was my fault because the world barraged me with a lot of ideas that were not of God.

Let me just say some things about Godly grief that may shed some light on the subject. I think there is a sense of repentance in Godly grief, whether we did wrong or an injustice was done to us.

We cannot really go into this spiritual realm of Godly grief ourselves. God has to bring us to this point,usually through our willingness to go. Sometimes Godly grief just comes upon us and our will. In this case we do not have a whole lot to do with the process.

I think the worldly process keeps us from Godly grief because it is so superficial. The real us (the hurt inside of us that God desires to bring out) will usually be suppressed.The world places an emphasis on the outside.Many people are hurting on the inside.

When we are wronged in one way or another, usually we become very shortsighted and emphasize our hurt.Some people will say, "That time is the greatest healer" but I believe that is more of a cliché than a biblical truth.Time may blunt some of the hurt in us but always remember the Holy Spirit is the greatest healer. John 14:16 says "I will pray the Father and He shall give you another Comforter,that He may abide with you forever."

God created time. The Holy Spirit heals,comforts and reassures us through Jesus Christ. At this point sometimes in our hurt we will look for somebody to rescue us but that role and title belongs to Jesus Christ.Is.61:1,2. This verse says, "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me: because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captive, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; (2) To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn." This verse is talking about Jesus Christ.

When He rescues us,He comforts us in our mourning. We cannot rescue somebody in their hurt nor can a person save us. We can love,empathize,counsel and offer a helping hand but Jesus Christ rescues people through salvation in Him because He will be the one getting the glory forever and ever, not us.John 3:16,Dan.7:14,Rev.15:4. Ultimately, only God can reach someone's heart (hurt).

Remember through this whole process of broken emotions God is building something special into our lives even through our pain. Maybe I should say especially through our hurt.

As children of God, just because we don't feel this process does not mean it is not happening. "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ." Phil 1:6.

I will even go one step further. God is going to be building something special into our hearts for all eternity. Joy unspeakable and full of glory will be in heaven. Jesus Christ will heal our painful emotions. Everybody will treat everyone in a proper manner and we will be at peace.

If we get frustrated enough with our deep seated hurts, sometimes we will sweep the dirt under the rug.

Our anxiety and fear will cover up emotions against the core of who we really are in Jesus Christ. Letting the Holy Spirit deal with our pain in His way and His time will give us supernatural and Godly peace which surpasses all understanding.(6) "Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. (7) And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7.

If we decide to go to the person or group that hurt us (if this is even possible) realize that he, she or the group may have a cold heart and will not be able to sympathize or emphasize with our pain. If no empathy is given, internal frustration will usually set inside.

God wants us to turn to Him in our pain. Remember Hebrews 4:14-16 says we can come boldly unto the throne of grace because Jesus can relate to our struggles in life. If we have accepted Jesus Christ as our personal Savior the Holy Spirit came to live inside of us. When we allow the Holy Spirit to fill us, our hurt will be absorbed in the person of Jesus Christ. Worrying is counterproductive. This emotion will get us nowhere.

There is a proverb that says a point comes when the heart is so broken that it is beyond repair. As Christians we have the Holy Spirit living inside of us. God heals us in the midst of our broken and damaged lives. I almost want to say this is what God does best but the truth of the matter is God is perfect in everything. God works everything out for good for all those that love Him and are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28.

I believe this is the most important principle that I am about to mention. I hear this all the time. Someone will say to somebody else, "You have to change." Here is the problem with that premise, especially in the midst of our hurts. We cannot change. We can only submit (to good or bad). God changes us through His Son Jesus Christ. "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." 2nd Cor.5:17. This verse describes God changing an individual through His Son Jesus Christ. If we submit to God through His Son Jesus Christ He will change us, but only God can do this.

The presence of the Holy Spirit comforts us in our Savior Jesus Christ. Be patient in this changing process through our submission to God. I suppose it can happen overnight but not very often. Salvation in Jesus Christ takes place at the moment an individual comes to the foot of the cross and accepts the Savior for the remission of his or her sins who is Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ heals through the power of the Holy Spirit. We were made for closure with God, ourselves and other people.


For those of you that are going through a trial, sometimes just when one episode ends, another one starts. God desires to grant us a release through Jesus Christ. If you have read any of my articles, you know my position on how close we are to the rapture of the Church. As I sit here writing this paper I can almost feel the joy of the resurrection now!

One person said the drudgery of our trials will be gone but the experience of our trials will still be present in heaven. In my opinion this is something to think about. We are going to have the privilege of grieving over love ones,missed opportunities and other issues that Jesus is going to bring to our mind and heart.

What is happening on the inside is far more important than what is taking place on the outside. I know the human part of us becomes overwhelmed; however,God desires that quality of rest for our souls through the empowering work of the Holy Spirit. I personally believe asking God to take us to this righteous grieving process is good because the supernatural peace of God will abide in us.

In 1st Peter 1:6-8 the Holy Spirit is talking about intense trials,sufferings and temptations and then Peter says, "Ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory." As Christians, regardless as to what we are going through, we are destined for "Joy unspeakable and full of glory." 1st Peter 1:8.

The Bible says in John 11:35 "Jesus wept." That tells me something. Our Savior knows how to grieve. Many people see Jesus Christ as distant and cold but the Bible says, "He that loveth not knoweth not God; God is love." 1st John 4:8.

Jesus said "Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Matt 5:3. The principle here is that God is Holy and we are sinful. He is all and we are nothing (yet God makes us feel special in His Son Jesus Christ). I would think a contrite spirit always wanting the grace of God is what Jesus is trying to convey. The second beatitude is "Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted."Matt 5:4.

I believe the primary reason we are to mourn or grieve is because of the first beatitude.... being poor in spirit. Grief over being poor in spirit will lead to God's comfort.

People need a sense of closure in the midst of their pain and this will not happen apart from God. We are certainly not going to find it in the world. Jesus Christ gives us closure in Him.

There is a verse in the last book of the Bible. "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death,neither sorrow,nor crying,neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." Rev 21:4. The context of this verse is at the end of the one thousand year reign of Jesus Christ.

It is in the character of God to comfort His people. He is a merciful God. 2nd These 2:16 says, "Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself,and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace." This is His nature. He is ... "The Father of mercies,and the God of all comfort." 2nd Cor 1:3.

In heaven we will be able to meet redeemed saints throughout history that went through the same overwhelming situations that we experienced. The circumstances will disappear but the relationship with Jesus Christ will last forever.

It is good to accept the Lord Jesus Christ into your heart as your personal Savior if you have not already made this all important eternal decision.To properly grieve through a problem takes the God of all comfort working through us. Otherwise it is just an exercise in futility.

For a person to try and deal with this on their own without God will lead to misery. Choose healing in Jesus Christ as we seek the God of all comfort until Jesus Christ calls us home in the rapture. That will be soon. Perhaps today/tonight!

Love in Christ,
Bob D